Longtime readers of The Bluegrass Blog will have noted my fondness for The Bluegrass Intelligencer, a news parody site – a la The Onion – that focuses on personalities in the bluegrass and acoustic string world.

I find the site to be clever and uproariously funny, though you might want to be wary if you are easily offended by ribald themes or occasional vulgarity.

A number of new stories have been posted this past few days which should be good for a chuckle. One that really cracked me up covers a supposed new turn in the personal life of new Punch Brothers bassist, Paul Kowert.

Paul Kowert Weds Own Bass in Holy Matrimony – Ex-heartthrob forgoes female companionship forever

BROOKLYN — Young bassist Paul Kowert, who recently landed his dream job as a member of the popular band Punch Brothers, has just startled the bluegrass world by announcing that he is newly married.

According to his publicist, Kowert has taken a three-year-old American upright bass as his lawfully wedded spouse.

Kowert, who moved to New York City late last year, is an alumnus of the Curtis Institute of Music and the winner of SPBGMA’s Bachelor of the Year award in 2008.

Kowert’s highly unconventional marriage has both appalled traditionalists and delivered unthinkable disappointment to enormous numbers of female fans.

"He is a true Punch Brother now," said bandmate Chris Thile.

Read the full post online.

Also highlighted in that piece is a non-fake YouTube clip of Paul demonstrating his virtuosity on the upright bass, a brilliant duet with Punch Brothers fiddler Gabe Witcher on the Carter Family classic, You Are My Flower.

It’s hand held video from a live show, and gets a bit jerky, but Kowert’s performance is simply brilliant.